we shall get back to you!

We shall get back to you- HAH!

The clock is ticking but the world and its people around seem to have come to a standstill. There is commotion around but you can hear your breathe going in and out of your body. The receptionist comes up to you and hands over a writing pad. You read the instructions and get to work right away. Whatever the topic is and how much ever the time limit is, all your writing skills prove to be of no use! But you still manage to come up with some ideas and scribble them on the paper thinking that should do the trick! You hand over the finished write-up to the receptionist who hands it over to an unknown identity, who is about to grill you. Then you are called inside. As if the wait a few minutes back wasn’t enough, you are asked to wait yet again! The unknown identity finally shows up, and you are in the best of your behaviour. He/she asks you about everything you have ever known and probably a few things you don’t even have an idea about. And while you are busy racking your brains trying to come up with the best possible answers, he/she constantly stares at you; that makes you all the more constipated! Even the college vivas were more comfortable than this; they were like a “bring it on” sessions for you. But not this, this is more like “Why me?!” You are offered a glass of water, but the water tastes more bitter than truth. The air-conditioner isn’t of much help to you for you are sweating profusely. And then finally its done. He/she gets up and so do you. You shake hands with him/her and then you finally say something without being asked to do so, “When do I look forward to the next round, sir/ma’m?” to which you get a reply “We will get back to you, XYZ.”
Bang!!! Those words hit you like a bullet in your head! All of a sudden your vision gets blurred and you picture the certain individual before you as a demented gunslinger on the lose! Those 6 words are the forbidden words in the life of any hopeful individual; to be precise, a fresher who is looking forward to getting recruited in a company (for the uninitiated, those 6 words mean that you have 98% chances of not getting back a call!). You don’t even know how to interpret them, and moreover you don’t even have the courage to ask them that, is that a yes or a no! Oh, how you wish you were at the other side of the desk and doing the same! But that thought doesn’t come as much of a relief to you, does it? You feel let down, a lot of thoughts cross your mind- *Was I good, did I answer all the questions properly, did my breathe smell stale, did my deodorant ditch me at the last minute, or was the interviewer intimidated by me or by my knowledge?* You have no answers to any of those questions!
Frankly speaking, who the hell in the industry came up with such a line? It is worse than our cheesy filmy lyrics! It doesn’t even leave any room for hopes! Ok, its fine if the interviewer tells one about the next round and the tentative time it will take for the next round to happen, it gives one some amount of hope to hold on to or the interviewer can also send a mail to the candidate saying that he hasn’t made it to the next round; but no, that isn’t the case! The interviewer utters those 6 heart wrenching, soul ripping words and then wishes you a good day (as if that is going to help!) It compels one to think about it all the time, especially if the candidate is a fresher. Oh, I so very pity them(including myself)! Personally speaking, it made me so miserable after hearing them for the first time that I lost interest in everything- from watching Mithunda’s action-packed desi Matrix-style movies to Spielberg’s epics, from having wada pao to hogging on burgers, from listening to Himesh’s heart rendering songs to the groovy psychedelic ones of The Chemical Brothers *sob sob*.
But no, that shouldn’t happen my fellow- freshers! This isn’t a reason good enough to wreck you! Go face the interviews, hear those not-at-all magical words and walk straight out of the room (albeit with a smile), there’s no shortage of jobs in the world. Laugh as much as you can and confine the guffaw within yourselves! Don’t let these corporate people tear you down for they hardly have the soft skills to go along with their technical skills; that ‘we shall get back to you’ line is a testimony to this fact. The next time when you are done giving the interview and the interviewer asks you what you would like to ask or know, muster all your courage from deep within your guts and tell them- “ Please, that’s a clichéd line, come up with something new to scare us freshers!” Its our chance to “get back to them”, literally, with a vengeance. Grrrrrrrrr.
Signing off!!!
Arohi “still a fresher” Chakraborty

PS: *with a puppy face* Is there anyone looking for a 2006 B.e(IT) pass out from the Mumbai University???